On Tuesday night, after the MRI, Cameron and I were feeling discouraged. We had been told that coming out of sedation, Truman should be much more vigorous. It had been two days off sedation and he was moving slightly, but not as expected. Sitting at the house--because I am staying at the friend's house in town with the children at night while Cameron stays at the hospital with Tru, I began to pray and sing some worship songs to the Lord for about an hour. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks: There is nothing we can offer to God to convince Him to give Truman back to us--we are utterly poor and naked. I can't pay God for Truman's life, or make a bargain with God, or even point to any good deeds I have done--I am bankrupt before God. I have nothing to give, nothing to offer. God does not owe me anything. Even faith is a gift from Him. All I can do is rest on His mercy, His grace, His faithfulness, and the finished work of Christ on the cross. That's it. He owes us nothing, yet He gives us everything in Christ. We owe Him everything, yet have nothing to give.
And then this song came to my lips, the words being:
Blessing and glory, wisdom and thanksgiving, honor and power and might be to our God. Forvever and ever, Amen. Amen. Amen.
Over and over I sang this and felt peace flood my soul. As I laid down to sleep, Cameron called and said that Truman's eyes were wide open! What coud I do but praise God and go and see my son?
God is so faithful, and we have to remember that what outcome we desire does not change His character. He is good and changes not. Our circumstances change and while we feel like we are being blown and tossed by the wind on the waves, our only anchor is Christ--our solid rock.
Truman's still being alive is an act of God. Every step of progress is God. Every person whose heart God has moved to pray is because God has moved that person. God is at work--he is touching Truman, our family, and all of you to bring about praise aand glory for His name. May He be glorified forever and ever. Amen.
In Christ, Laura