Saturday, May 19, 2012

Making Sense of it All.

It's 4:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. I decided to take the advice of a friend and instead of fretting over my lack of sleep, use this time to process things, which is all part of the healing process.

Whenever tragedy strikes, everyone's first thoughts are, "How did this happen?". I think that is only natural because we want to make sense of what happened--how, why--and we also want to avoid making the same mistakes oursleves. We want to make sure that the tragedy will not happen again--to us.

I have struggled this whole week with sharing the details of what happened. Wiser and loving friends, and my husband, have asserted that I don't owe everyone or anyone an explanation, but as a mother I feel I do. I find myself telling and re-telling the story to people in a way to assauge my guilt, to justify my choices, to make sense of this myself, to beat myself up again and again and again. But I am slowly coming to realize something through this: It doesn't matter HOW it happened. The fact is, it happened and I can't go back and change anything despite my pleading with God. AND, the fact remains that God is Sovereign over all circumstances, the narrow misses everyday despite our mistakes as well as the one time tragedy does strike.

For we do not control the events of our life, God does. And, for every one time tragedy does strike there are millions when it should have and it didn't. And for every tragedy that strikes there are a million variables that if any one of them had changed, the tragedy would not have happened. Everyone involved in the tragedy plays a part, accepts blame, struggles wondering if it was THEIR actions that were the final blow that set the tragedy in motion. That is how we like to think: That somehow we are in control and therefore, we can assign blame. And despite knowing all this, I blame myself because it is my precious baby, whom I love more than anything, who is hurt. How could I but NOT blame myself?

So, would it be helpful for me to hash out all the details for the world to examine to make their own judgements about which variable should have been changed leading up to the accident in order to assign blame? Do I open my wounded soul up to public scrutiny or my family and their actions--for they are just children. The fact is NOBODY is to blame. Accidents happen, despite our best efforts to keep our children safe. We would NEVER intentionally harm our children. For someone who is not a Christian, who maybe still believes that they control their destiny, I think that they do think it is helpful to scrutinize the situation. However, as a Christian who believes in the Soverignty of God, at some point you have to lay it down and offer it to God and believe that it was a tragic accident, but that there are NO accidents and every single minute detail was set in place within the hands of God and that God allowed it all for a purpose. Does this knowledge bring peace? Slowly.

Despite all this, I know the question still remains in everyone's minds: How did Truman drown? What happened? The answer is nobody knows for sure. We weren't there to see how it actually all played out or we would have saved him. Obviously, we got there in time and we DID save him, and that is all that matters. Truman drowned in a 5 gallon bucket that was filled with a few inches of pond water being used to catch frogs and turtles. A bucket that was light enough for a child to pick up. A bucket that for some reason did not tip over when Truman reached in for an object, lost his footing and slipped in. A bucket that I never knew was there. Because the thing you have to know, without sounding like I am justifying myself, is that Truman LOVED water and therefore, I watched him like hawk around water. I was paranoid about this very thing because of his fascination with water. This little guy, if he heard the shower, would crawl in fully-clothed, if he could, with whoever was in there at the time. If the door was open while other little ones were taking a bath, he would crawl head first into the tub, heedless of danger. I worried about open toilet bowls, the ponds behind our house, and his water table. In the end, despite my vigilence, it was none of these things; it was a 5 gallon bucket of water that I didn't catch. And I forever will struggle with blaming myself for not knowing it was there. When EMS came, I told them it was this acquarium that was kept on the back patio for the purpose of catching critters that I thought Truman had fallen into because the lid had been left off. However, when I showed the EMS guy the acquarium, the lid was on. It wasn't until we pieced everything together hours later that we discovered it was the bucket. And still my mind screams, "What bucket????" I still don't know because when I got there, one of my other children had discovered him and pulled him out and I found him on the ground. If you don't think to even look for this hidden danger, how would you know? I mean, had Truman fallen and got hurt he would have cried and I would have come running. But drowning is the silent killer and if you don't even know there is water nearby, you won't interpret the silence as deadly but peaceful. You check on your children and you check and you check and you check again. You listen for their cries, for squabbles, for them calling out "Mommy". Your radar is on for noise, for sound. But when the tragedy is silent? When the danger is unknown? When there is a breach in your vigilence? What then?

But here's the thing now, I answer the question of how this happened and a dozen more questions pop up: Who left the bucket? why was it not emptied? Where were we all when Truman fell in? How long was he in there before we found him? Why didn't I see him when I checked to see if he was okay?

It doesn't matter. It doesn't help to assign blame. It happened. And none of my pleading, begging and bargaining with God can change it. Believe me, I have tried.

In an otherwise safe, everyday common occurrence--Truman playing on the back patio, which he did everyday, safely, for hours, protesting when you brought him inside, never leaving the patio unless picked up by someone--tragedy struck. Despite my best, over-protective mommy efforts to keep my baby safe, it still happened.

But still plaguing my mind: What if the bucket hadn't been left there? What if I had found him sooner? Why didn't the bucket tip over when Truman fell in? Why didn't I see him when I scanned the patio searching for him. For you see, Truman never left the patio and that is how I KNEW something was wrong.

The fact remains that God was there--He alerted me so that I did panic and know something was wrong, He had a sibling discover Truman right away instead of us searching in the wrong places, He caused 2 neighbors to be home who were both certified in CPR, Semaiah was napping and missed the entire scene, Truman's body was the right temperature so that they were able to revive him, etc. A thousand "coincidences" leading to the accident and a thousand "coincidences" now working to heal him. But, we know that these are not coincidences, but the very hand of God!

Thank you for praying for Truman, for our family. It is what is holding us up right now--faith in a loving Heavenly Father who knows and who cares, who was there, who is working all things out for His good purposes. As Truman lies healing physically the rest of his family is trying to heal, too. We have all been traumatized, we are all blaming ourselves, and we are all struggling in different ways. All I can do now is trust God, lay down my guilt, my fears, my pain and go to God and rest in Him.

It could have been any of us. It could have been any tragedy. But it was Truman, my son, my handsome baby whom I have to believe that God loves even more than I do. All I can do now is entrust Tru to His hands.

In Christ, Laura

73 comments:

Mary said...

I've come here via Ginny's blog to tell you that I am praying for your sweet boy and for all of you.
Thank you for this heart-felt and balanced post. Accepting this tragic accident is a challenge that your faith and love will see you through.

Patty Heath said...

Laura, I know of you and your family through a mutual friend that was in Turkey with you 15 years ago. Our kid's ages are idententical from the 9 year old down, with a 10 month old boy and our 7th baby due on August. We've been praying for your precious Truman, and for your family. I am so glad you shared what you shared, as a mom we think if we do nothing else we must keep these kids safe and alive... But that is not our responsibility. I struggle so much with this also- I am praying for you - I can imagine the mom you are- I pray for the Lord to heal your spirit as you go through this journey. You all are a precious family to Our Lord Jesus Christ... We will trust even when we don't understand.

Erin said...

Laura, I continue to pray for Truman and you and your husband and children. Your blog posts have always shown me that you do trust God and love him with everything you have. I'm glad to read that you continue to trust Him through this. I know this is a struggle beyond imagination and the days ahead will be filled with all kinds of emotions. But I pray that as Truman heals and your family's faith gets stronger that God is being (and will be) glorified in this whole situation. Just stay in His presence, my sister. I am interceding on your behalf.

Kara said...

Laura, Just wanted to let you know our family is praying for you and uniting our small sacrifices to the Lord's Great Sacrifice for the upholding of your family during this time. We found you through Ginny Sheller's blog and though we don't know you, we will continue to pray ardently for you all. In Christ,
Kara Horne

Kavitha Durai said...

Dearest Laura,

As a mother of two children i can't imagine what you must be going through! You're right, when i think of all the things that could go wrong in a day and they don't..it really is God's grace. I'm praying for your beautiful son and for you most of all. God's healing is complete and he is your refuge.

Love
Kavitha

Kathy said...

Laura,

I wish I was there to give you all a big hug, to pray with you, to help in whatever way I could if I was there. Please know that our thoughts, prayers, and love from NC and NY are with you.

God bless,
Kathy

Lori N from MN said...

Dear Mouro Family,
Visiting from Ginny's... Your family is in my prayers.

As you so very well know, our Loving and Merciful God has everything under control. Praising Him for all the blessings thus far.

Praying for peace and strength for you all.

Allison said...

I came over here from Ginny's blog and please know I am praying for all of your children and for you and your husband. As you so beautifully put it, God is in control. He summoned each and every one of us into being from nothingness - for a purpose. He is our origin and our destiny.

me said...

You are a remarkable mother. I know writing about this helps heal-- we are like each other in that way-- we write. Thank you for sharing. It is so true-- it could have been, and still could be any of us. God is so good and He was there. You are right to take comfort in Him who knows all things. We love you and your family so much! I only wish we could be right there to help out in your time of need. But as Margo so wisely spoke,what God wants for us is prayer and worship, and that is so important too. So as you know, many many many prayers are being sent for you.
~Gabby

Shonni said...

I am so sorry Laura! So Sorry!!!!!!
I am praying for you all!
loves,
Shonni

sarah said...

Beautiful, honest and raw... We love you and know that ALL things work togther for good to them that love the Lord! Peace, Sarah

Maria Carpenter said...

Oh, dear Laura. Just found out about this. Know we are praying for you continually. Our hearts are grieving for you, yet praying that the Lord will fully restore Truman for His glory.

Jenny said...

I am praying for you. You are right, there are a million of these possibilities in everyday life and we can NOT catch them all! I can not even imagine how hard it is for you and your family right now. Praying for sweet Truman and praying for your continued strength!
Jenny
(friend of Ginny at ourplansmultiplied)

Balisha said...

In reading this I am overwhelmed with grief. What a dreadful thing to happen to your whole family.Though I don't know you (yesterday was the first time I visited your blog)...I am praying for him to recover...and also for your family's recovery.
Trust in the Lord..
Balisha

Diabra said...

Laura, we are praying for your precious boy and all of you. Thankyou for sharing.

MamaWestWind said...

My heart goes out to you as a Mom! Don't blame yourself, there is no sense in blame & guilt. How could you know! I would never think of a bucket. In fact I have one for rain water right now in my backyard and never thought of it. I will not be using anymore. I don't believe that God sends us trials. God is Love. God knows only Love. Like the sun that knows only light, God knows only good. He cares for us and loves us and he is all powerful for GOOD. So you can trust God with your little one. I don't believe he gives us these beautiful children only to take them away. God is Life, our very life! Put all fear & guilt away and trust. "For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." Sending out many prayers & so much love to your family!

dkt said...

Hi Laura!

My heart and prayers are with you and have been continuously!

I encourage you to keep loving the Lord with your mind...just like you are! Think thoughts that are pure, lovely and of good report...listen to the voice of truth. He continues to tell you that even this is for HIS glory... I know you know all of this... so continue in what you know and believe! May God's grace be made perfect in your weakness so that his power is glorified!

And thank you for sharing the details. It is a good reminder to ALL of us--both spiritually and practically. The Lord holds our children...though we must do our best to protect them (as you do!!), we must also trust the Lord with their safety. Every mom struggles with where these two meet and when the son of someone we love gets hurt, it causes all of our chests to tighten...but your Godly perspective in the midst of this trial challenges all of us to continue to place our children where they belong...in the arms of our God.

So thank you for that!

And it does not surprise me that he wants to hear your voices... youngest children in large families thrive on noise!!! :) lol!

--Sisterly love!!

dianna

Theresa said...

Praying for your precious Truman.

Lisa H. said...

Praying, praying, praying. You sound like you have it exactly right. It WASN"T anyone's fault. It's just something that God allowed to happen and has a plan to use.

You'll be on my heart all day and I will pray!

Lisa H.

Deanna Garmon said...

Your words are so beautiful and inspiring. I know you blame yourself, as any of us would. And ALL of us who are parents have saved them at the last minute from some sort of accident. So many of us have had a brush with tragedy with our children. We've all been close to where you are, yet we are still good and loving parents. Remember that God is LOVE and FORGIVENESS! Forgive yourself. No one here is assigning blame.

Deanna Garmon said...

Your words are so beautiful and inspiring. I know you blame yourself, as any of us would. And ALL of us who are parents have saved them at the last minute from some sort of accident. So many of us have had a brush with tragedy with our children. We've all been close to where you are, yet we are still good and loving parents. Remember that God is LOVE and FORGIVENESS! Forgive yourself. No one here is assigning blame.

Abby said...

Dear Laura,

Thank you for being so brave to share this. I've not been through the same thing, but something similar last year with Micah. Hopefully you were able to read my letter to you on facebook. I would have sent it more personally, but I didn't have your email address and I wanted to share the grace and mercy I found during our own tragedy with you. You all have been my last thoughts at night, my first thought in the morning, and my continual thoughts and prayers during the day. I will continue to pray and wait for more praise reports! Much love and hugs,

Abby

Amy said...

Laura, I've been reading your blog for years, but have never commented. We have a lot in common - our two youngest are the same age. I read your blog during both pregnancies and rejoiced all the way with you. We both adopted from Liberia, and I have benefited from your experiences and advice.
I have been praying for your family. I am praying for your hearts to be healed and for Truman's little body to be healed.
This was an amazing post. I'm so glad you decided to write it instead of tossing and turning some more. It is a gift to us all.

Sandy said...

Beautifully said.

Trisha

Amy said...

Laura,
I have been reading your blog for years, but have never commented. We have a lot in common. I was pregnant with my two youngest while you were pregnant with Semaiah and Truman. I rejoiced all along the way with you.
We both adopted from Liberia. I benefited so much from reading your experiences and advice.
I have been praying for your family. I am praying for your hearts to be healed. I am praying for Truman's little body to be completely healed.
This was an amazing post. Thank you for writing it, instead of tossing and turning some more. It is a gift to us all.
In Him,
Amy

DeniseinSC said...

Laura, your good God loves you and so do your friends and family. Trust and rest in his sovereignty. Do not listed to the evil one whisper words of guilt into your ear. You are a good Mom. A mom that loves her children and her God. You are his Beloved.

DeniseinSC said...

Laura, you are a good Mom. A good Mom. You love God, you love your children. They love you. He loves you. He calls you by name. Reject the whispers of the evil one. It was an accident, that by his plan, he allowed to happen to you. We all know that. You are being held up. The prayers of the saints are bearing this burden with you. You are His Beloved.

Meghan said...

Laura, Cameron and kids- we are praying in North Carolina- everyone I know that prays is praying. It is the only thing we know to do in a time like this. Just wishing we lived closer so you could watch some of the kids or prepare a meal. Praying that God, who is able, will perform a miracle on your baby boy. Praying the God will bring your family closer together and will carry you all.

Dawn said...

Praying for Truman and your family. Your post of beautiful and SO true. Accidents happen, no matter how hard we true to protect our children. I pray that he continues to recover, in God's time.

kymom said...

My mama's heart is breaking for you. Your testimony is causing the tears to flow. Praying for you and your family. I would love to send you a couple of cds that have been a source of healing to me. If you privately email me your address.
alice reinhardt

joeshana said...

I don't even know you but I'm praying so hard for you and your precious baby. I have 5 children and know that even though I vigilantly watch them, accidents can still happen. We will pray for a full recovery for your Truman.

ThoseIrmingers said...

I've been praying earnestly for you baby ever since my cousin, Melodie, posted it on her facebook that this happened. I will not stop praying. I completely agree that we make many mistakes and that there are many times we are spared. Hold onto Jesus. Remember every time you step away from your son's side that Jesus is still there holding his hand and stroking his hair.

ThoseIrmingers said...

I completely agree with your statements about 'accidents'. My heart grieves that you are having to go through this. I have been praying and I will continue to do so. -- Elise

Mat. Emily said...

We're praying for all if you during this difficult time...

Sherrie said...

Thank you for posting this. My kids were seriously just washing the van with a bucket and my one year old is just as attracted to water. Your openness showed me a danger I had not even thought about.

Diane said...

Laura, you don't know us, but we live in Siloam Springs, AR and are praying right now for your precious baby boy Truman and for all of you. Our many Prayer Partners are praying for you also. Ps. 18:30.

Patterson's Progeny said...

I started reading your blog two days ago, after Ginny on Small Things, mentioned your tragedy. My husband, and I and our six children are praying for your whole family and especially for Truman.
Catherine
Regina, SK, Canada

Denise said...

Praying for you and your family, and your baby. Gab shared with me about Truman the other day (I have read your blog for some time). I have always been inspired by your ability to articulate God's truth in day-to-day life. This is no different. Same God, same Truth, and your same strong and unshakeable faith in our Sovereign God.

Our flock is praying for you.
Denise

JoAnna said...

Praying for you all this day. May God's healing touch reach your whole family...

JoAnna in NC

Allison said...

I just came across your blog from Ginny's and I am praying for you. I want to say that I thank you for posting this, because I have a 10.5 month old daughter and she too is fascinated with water. Thank you for reiterating, that nothing is too safe with water. This post just really strikes home with me, about how vigilant I will have to be with her. I thank you for that. God bless.

mostly young said...

Laura - my son, Michael, survived near drowning 3 and a half years ago; he has not been completely healed though we continue to pray for that. There are, sadly, many of us moms who know exactly what you are going through. Please contact me if you would like to be in touch with someone who has been on this road. I am also on several near-drowning support groups on FB and one email list. I pray for complete healing for your little one. God bless you, Sabine
sabine.in.tx@gmail.com
210-885-2483

Mindy said...

My heart hurts for you and all your family :(

Praying for all involved

Jennifer P said...

What a beautiful and thought provoking processing of Truman's accident. You have taught us all about grace and true love.

Laura Alexander said...

Laura, this post is God-honoring. Thank you for magnifying Him in the midst of your suffering. Know that we are joining in with so many others in prayer for Truman, you and Cameron, and all of the other Mouros!

LinneaJoy2:) said...

Laura, my friend Alison Landis asked for prayer for your family and we have been praying constantly for you guys! We will continue to pray until Truman is 100% healed. Those "coincidences" are amazing...our God is so good!

Emily said...

I am praying! I have sent your blog to some friends and family asking them to also pray for Truman and all of you! I can only imagine how you must feel as a mom. Remember, the Bible calls satan the accuser, continue to fight him with God's truth. Cling to Christ so the truth may remain in your heart and mind. Many prayers are being said on behalf of your baby and your family! ((Hugs!))

Erin said...

First I want to say that I'm so sorry to hear about your son. My son, at just days shy of his 2nd birthday drowned in a pond at my step-father's house while we were setting up for his birthday party. He was revived, and like you, so many things fell into place that allowed that to happen. My son is now 6 and although he has permanent damage, we're very lucky that he's still with us. I pray Truman makes a full and miraculous recovery. We still continue to pray for that ourselves.

You and your family and Truman will be in our prayers.

Nicole Religioso said...

Hi Laura. I could not read this and not tell you that you and Truman have all my prayers tonight. I remember when my daughter had an accident while I was home with her and the horrible horrible feeling of replaying the incident in my mind. Your post was beautiful and I wish I could just give you a big hug.

Heather said...

I can't imagine what you are going through, but I second what Deanna said..this could happen to any one of us. It can happen to any parent. We all hope and pray it won't. We try our best to prevent tragedies, to protect our children, but the truth is none of us are in control. Only God is. I do not know you and never knew of your blog till now, but you are in my prayers. I called the Carmelite nuns and asked them to.pray for your little boy, you and your whole family and friends. May God restore Truman in every way. May he bring him back to you with joy and gladness.

Donna Barber said...

oh my- I am so sorry.
Regardless of our wake up calls in live and how ever they come- it is never ones fault.

All are God's children. I know you are blessed to have every one of them for however short or long you have them. Praying Truman will be there and healthy for a long time to come. Thinking of you.

Rachel~ At the Butterfly Ball said...

Praying right now for you, your family, and your baby!

ShaunaQ said...

Hello,

I'm so sorry about what happened to your baby, Truman. I have been where you are and almost three years ago my 11 month old son Christian nearly drowned in our backyard pool.

I suffered the same emotions you are feeling. Emotions of guilt, feeling the need to explain and defend. I used to be scared of them, and of being accused of the worst. But I'm not afraid anymore. In fact, I'm downright defiant of those emotions and protective of other moms like us.

I wrote about blog post about this very subject. I hope you find some comfort in it.

http://www.christiansjourney.org/2012/03/what-kind-of-mother-is-she.html

As for my boy, he is almost four and while his recovery is far from picture perfect, he is here. He is alive. And he is our greatest teacher. He has had the greatest gift in dying and coming back to life. He saw God.

If you have any questions, need support, guidance, prayer, good thoughts, or someone to vent to, please don't hesitate to reach out. I am here and so are some other Mommas just like us...hands and hearts extended. Take them when you're ready.

Read about my Christian at www.christiansjourney.org.

Abby said...

Praying for you in Uganda! I can only imagine what you're going through as I am constantly on guard against the thousands of dangers threatening my children here - many dangers I don't even know of, let alone the known. Praise God that HE is good and sovereign and Truman did not go unnoticed by our heavenly father! We are praying praying for all of you!

Susan said...

all parents have had close calls and lucky near misses. Please don't blame yourself. Will be praying for gorgeous little Truman and your whole family.

nmetzler.com said...

Oh, dear sister in the faith,
may you feel His comfort as you walk this road. May you know His love day by day.
My prayers will be with Truman.
My prayers will be with the rest of your family.

Blessings.

Julie said...

Storming heaven for your dear Truman, from a Catholic homeschooling family with six kids in Pittsburgh.

Adirondack Patterns said...

Mouro Family, There are no words for what you are going through, but I want you to know that I am praying for your little boy. Your words truly spoke to me, and if nothing else have made me watch my own life/children a lot more closely. Hugs to you~I am here via Ginny's blog. Prayers, Laura

Steven and Christy said...

Laura and Cameron,
It's in the broken places in our lives that we can see Him more clearly. It's true. We depend on him more because we fully recognize how much we need him. It's the parts of our story that we spend most of our time wishing we could re-write. These are parts that make us love him more. It's those places in our life that keep our eyes fixed on Him.
We continue to pray for you all! You both are very strong people and are very loved. North Carolina has your back.

Stacy said...

Dear Laura, Cameron and family,
We are continuing to lift Truman and each of you up in prayer! We are praying for healing, wisdom for all medical staff and for your hearts to be healed as well! Thank you for sharing the intimate details of the events that may have lead up to this. Thank you for showing us the strength of your faith in the midst of the storm! HE IS who He says HE IS!!!! Blessed be the name of the Lord!!!!! Your sister in Christ, Stacy

Jeannine said...

I come through Ginny's post too. I am praying for all of you. Prayers for healing for Truman from St. Louis, Missouri. Accidents do occur even with the best intentions, from the best mamas. But never underestimate the healing power of Jesus. My niece got married recently and two weeks after her wedding got meningitis, a diabetic crisis, sepsis and did suffer a brain injury. She is now enjoying married life and doing absolutely fine. God is still on his throne and his angels encamp all around us. Praise God and God bless you all:)

Jeannine said...

I am here through Ginny's blog as well. The Angels of the Lord encamp all around us...Psalm 34.. The Angels of the Lord are indeed surrounding Truman's bed. You are wise to know, that yes this is a horrible accident and yes accidents occur even in the best families, with the best ever mamas. Praying for you from St. Louis, Missouri. I have a niece who just recently had a fairy tale wedding, two weeks later was in ICU with meningitis and a brain injury from complications. I wrote her a poem, and part of it could be said about your sweet boy...."so I'm asking for some prayers for him, whose mama is so concerned.. for Jesus said, where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there in the midst of them..(Matt. 18)..surely then through prayer, he won't leave this unturned." Jeannine

ColleenaMareena said...

I also came over here from Ginny's blog. I just wanted to say that I can't imagine anyone blaming you for this terrible accident. And, rather than feeling like you need to explain yourself or justify your actions, I think your explanation will be of great help to many. I signed up for the CPR class I've been meaning to take for the last 8 years (I'm taking it tomorrow). Tonight we're having a little water safety talk with our kids before bed. Everyone who has heard of this incident will be praying and thinking of your family, and will try to be extra careful with their own families. My heart and prayers are with you, your family, the doctors and nurses, and your sweet Truman.

Marian Ashley said...

Laura, Melodie Kejr shared your prayer need with our family. My heart goes out to you. We are praying for you and so is our church. Thank you for sharing your faith and for being so open and vulnerable. Your updates speak volumes about the power of God and His work in your life. Thank you for for allowing us to join with you in prayer. What an incredible honor. I am so unbelievably encouraged by your faith and God's visible hand moving in your life.

Marian Ashley said...

Laura, Melodie Kejr shared your prayer need with our family. My heart goes out to you. We are praying for you and so is our church. Thank you for sharing your faith and for being so open and vulnerable. Your updates speak volumes about the power of God and His work in your life. I am checking frequently for updates and prayer requests. Thank you for for allowing us to join with you in prayer. What an incredible honor. I am so unbelievably encouraged by your faith and God's visible hand moving in your life.

kari said...

Reminded today that Jesus holds all things together by the word of His power. In one word He can hold your full range of emotions together...in one word He is holding Truman's body....toes, brain, lungs, breath....together. Calling on the One today who holds us together...by a word. Heard through mutual fbcd friends and praying this promise and a miracle over your boy today. Love, the breeds

HandsRaisedToHeaven said...

Many prayers being lifted up on behalf of your beautiful little boy and your family. Praying for God's amazing and miraculous healing powers. And strength to endure the moments ahead.

Unknown said...

The blame and the questions are by far the enemies tools to place a barrier between you and our Lord. I have personally struggled with the loss of a child for almost 14 years. The guilt game and questions come and go. I pray that you continue to find the strength to forgive yourself and remember God in all of this. I'm also praying for Truman.

Unknown said...

The blame and the questions are by far the enemies tools to place a barrier between you and our Lord. I have personally struggled with the loss of a child for almost 14 years. The guilt game and questions come and go. I pray that you continue to find the strength to forgive yourself and remember God in all of this. I'm also praying for Truman.

Rachel said...

My heart is with you and your family. I am in Minnesota, but good friends with your neighbor Sarah. I feel with you as a Mother, that we do feel this tremendous responsibility, but your perspective rings true and is sweetly freeing. Yes, they are really God's children. I pray for your miracle.

amyelizabethsmith said...

My heart breaks for you and your family. And as you write these words I pray that some day God will heal you and help you to believe them fully. God is control. Always and forever. I'm praying for your dear Truman, I don't know him or you, but I am praying. Blessings.

Sassy said...

Oh Laura!!! I'm so sorry to hear what has happened...My name is Brooke Brunson. I go to Berean Baptist Church in Fayetteville, NC...I heard about your terrifying story and quickly wanted to let you know that me and my family will surely be praying for you!!..I have three children of my own and I know that if I were going through this I would need to know that there were many people standing by my side along with our precious and Holy Father!!..God surely knows everything you are experiencing emotionally and mentally is exhausting and very hard on you and your family...So, I pray that God will surely give you strength and endurance...Through Him all things are possible. Your faith and prayers and all who are by your side through Tru's recovery equals a HUGE amount of faith lifted to Jesus!! I pray for you Laura and I pray for Tru and all your family...I dont know what you feel exactly but I can only imagine how difficult it must be. This is the hardest thing a parent can endure and you, sister, must be a strong woman for God to bring you to this place... I can tell by your blog!!... So, in my prayers and my hopes, I pray God pulls him through quickly and that he may be even stronger and healthier than before this tragedy!!..Bless you, Laura, bless your family, and bless baby Truman... God loves you and will never leave your side...Jesus felt a moment of despair on the cross, however, the Lord never left his side and He will never leave yours...

Pat ...and red shoes said...

We had a backyard tragedy that ended in the death of one of our children. I blamed myself for a long time. Then one day as I was driving home it came to me out of the blue that this is why Jesus died for me. I was not a perfect mom, I will never be a perfect mom but Jesus paid it all. Whatever I did or did not do that had a part in the death is all under the Blood. Woulda. Shoulda. Coulda. You would have and you should have but you couldn't because you are not God. You are human. He forgives. Forgive yourself. A M0M who knows.

Grace Leah said...

My names Grace Mischenko and I live in Alaska and attend the CREC church up here. We have been praying for your family. We just had a son, Seth, born with Down Syndrome 4 months ago, so I have been doing a lot of studying on the brain. If you have time, I highly recommend this website www.iahp.org and reading the book, "What To Do About Your Brain-injured Child". You can get it electronically too. Even for parents of "well" children it is fascinating and educational! Also, look into essential oils (heritageessentialoils.com) for help with Tru's respiratory issues. I very much understand the emotional struggles. Feel free to email me or find me on Facebook. My prayers are with you!