Monday, May 21, 2012

Going Home for the First Time

After all that happened yesterday, I decided to leave the hospital for the first time and go home for a night to be with my children. They are all struggling and really needed me. After 2 hours of crying--sobbing, really--and releasing their emotions, they were able to sleep peacefully. I have been here, at the hospital, away from them, and they have all struggled with who to talk to, who to trust with their fears, their guilt, their tears. They finally got me back and they are all different children after it. They are hurting, but their faith in God's Sovereignty is amazing. Amazing. God is working in their hearts through this, too. We talked about how we can't change the past and we can't control the future, we can only pray in the moment and entrust the past and future to Him.

Many have asked if we will have the children talk to someone, a professional, about everything. The answer is an emphatic, "No!" First of all, many forget that I have my Master's in social work, trained to work with children. They would not do anything differently than I am doing already. Secondly, all counseling should be Biblical. That is the only thing that heals, that brings comfort and peace, that gives answers and hope. My children feel safe sharing with Cameron and I. They open up to us, they share everything and they are appropriately working through their grief. It is going to be a struggle, but you can't magically make it better. God has a reason why He chose our family, and these children specifically, to walk through this valley, and HE WILL use it for His glory in their lives. He will. We should not pity them. Yes, it is heartbreaking that they must also go through this. It hurts this momma's heart. But I trust in God's goodness.

They all slept peacefully last night, and today we packed up everything and headed to Ann Arbor so that our family can be together and closer to the hospital. A friend of ours who lives close to the hospital has graciously allowed us to stay at her home this week while they are away on vacation. We have worked out a schedule where 3 children will come up here from 10-1 and 3 from 2-5. We are asking visitors come after they leave, around 6 pm. We want to be able to focus completely on them when they are here.

I thought it would be difficult to go home and that memories would flood my mind, sending me into an emotional tail-spin, but instead I was overwhelmed with supernatural peace that only God can give. It was amazing. He gave me the strength to go home and face my fears and to help my children. He gave me the words to say to them to bring comfort, healing, hope and to make sense of it all. He is the Great Physician and the ONLY healer and He can use any of us if we submit to Him to work His purposes. We just must rely on the Bible for wisdom. That is the ONLY source of wisdom and healing. ONLY.

We are here as a family and it feels good.

Truman has been taken off all his sedation medication and he is beginning to move. Praise God!

In Christ, Laura

21 comments:

Jessica R said...

Thank God for movement!! I'm praying and hope that he continues to improve.

His Hands His Feet Today said...

Praise the Lord for provision for a close place and for a new routine which will bring security and safety for the others during this time. Good job mommy and daddy!!!

Morgan said...

Your family and your precious son are in my prayers.

~Nicole~ said...

Dr. Mouro and Laura- Prayers for you and Truman and the rest of the family!
~Nicole and Ryan Harden

Kristy said...

Laura- We do not know eachother, but I go to church with your In Laws. Simply, I just want to let you know that my family and I are praying faithfully, urgently,diligently and trusting in the Savior for you and your family. My heart aches for you but I just wanted to let you know that in those moments when you can not pray that there is someone praying for you!!

Kimberlee said...

Just want you to know I continue to pray for Truman and your whole family. (I'm here via Ginny's) It is a blessing to read of how His grace is sustaining you through this most difficult trial. So happy to hear of a little improvement! Deo Gratias!

Miranda said...

This was so convicting and encouraging to me Laura! To see the Lord providing the faith and grace for you and your kids makes MY faith bolder...thanks for sharing! LOVE YOU GUYS!! We wait to hear the update on little man and his movement and response to being off the sedation meds....God keep showing yourself glorious!

Jodi said...

Ever since I saw the prayer request on Small things Blog, I've been praying for your baby and will continue to do so. God bless.

darefamily said...

so well said Laura! i am so glad that you are all able to be closer and together more during this time as well. God is our provider in all things!!!

~Jen Dare

Stacy said...

Continuing to pray for your sweet family!

Erin said...

Cameron and Laura - I am praying for you and Truman. I found you through Elizabeth Foss. I am emailing you as a response to a nudge from the Holy Spirit. I realize you don't know me but I want to help. I live just south of AA in Saline and could bring a meal or organize meals or something. Please let me lessen your burden in some small way. I can be reached at erin (underscore) clauser (at) hotmail dot com.

house full of jays said...

We continue to pray for Truman and your family. This is good, good news. Praise God!

Jennifer Williams said...

I have just found out about this and although I haven't followed your blog before, please know that all of you, your children, Truman and yourselves are in my prayers, as are the medical team doing their utmost to care for your son.
Jenni

Janelle said...

I came upon your blog from another blog that I follow. Oddly enough my name is Janelle... you are an inspiration to me. I struggle with trying to limit God's goodness too me by planning out the number of children I should have! Thank you for being a voice for those of us want large families! I will pray for your family and your little Truman. So excited to hear about your next baby's arrival. Would love to chat about homeschooling sometime in the future when you have time! God blessings on your family.

Jessica Swindol said...

Laura, my name is Jessica and I am the wife of the former youth pastor at Kirby Church (where your in-laws attend). I have been keeping up with your story via your blog and facebook and I want you to know that from Nashville, we are praying. Your faith has been such a blessing to me. I am sorry that this has happened to your family.

Caroline said...

I am weeping with you and praying with you and marveling at the amazing grace of God in your lives! Thank you for sharing some of the ways that God is sovereignly working to make Himself known through your trials.

I am a friend of the Newtons. A little over a year ago, while I was out of town visiting my famiy, I miscarried twins. Your husband graciously squeezed me in at the end of a long day and so compassionately ministered to me and my husband. He is a part of our story of Gods sovereign hand at work in our lives. Thank you! We will continue to pray for you all.

SarahElisabeth said...

I saw this via Small Things. Remembering you all before the Throne of Grace,

Jess said...

I am a foster parent in Arizona. I found your blog a little while back when reading about attachment disorder and have now learned of your tragedy. I'm not sure why God led my path to cross yours, but I know that He did. Our family is praying for you guys!

~Jess @ fosteringinthedeepend.blogspot.com

Carissa said...

For this child I prayed; and the LORD has given me my petition which I asked of him: I Samuel 1:27

Movement!!!!!! Praise God, to Him be all the glory!!!

We will continue to be in prayer for your family.
Carissa in Indiana

Abby said...

I'm so glad your other children had that time with you-so healing for you all. God's work is so evident in you Laura. It is so encouraging to me to see. Just to see how this can happen and how God can and will sustain his beloved children. And how He uses it for his glory. What a testimony you are to so many, Christian and non-Christian. Thank you for sharing it all with us, it's been a privilege to walk through this valley with you in a small way.
Love, Abby

kim said...

LAURA...what an encouragement this post was for me. Tears welling from the truth you so boldly and beautifully proclaimed. What an amazing family you all are!