Morning Sickness

Yes, I have been M.I.A.--lost in the depths of morning sickness. I am about 10 weeks now and in the thick of it. However, it hasn't been as bad this time as other pregnancies. I have been incredibly thankful for this. I have had days where I feel great and then other not-so-great days. A couple of weeks ago, one of my friends told me about the benefits of milk thistle as a remedy for morning sickness and since taking it I have a difference. I have heard that you should really start taking it a few months before you get pregnant to feel the most relief.

Typically, my morning sickness lasts until about 16 weeks, although with Jonas and Elyse it mysteriously disappeared at 9 weeks. So, as a result, every pregnancy I hang on until 9 weeks, hoping that this will be the magic week when I feel better. Well, this is my fourth pregnancy since Elyse and every time 9 weeks has come and gone with no relief. This time is no different.

Just so you know, I don't do morning sickness well. ;) I don't typically throw-up, but it isn't just a morning thing either. It lasts all day long. And none of the tips and remedies my midwife passes along help: short frequent meals, ginger, protein, etc. Now, every time I have the best intentions to persevere with joy, but once I am in the midst of morning sickness it becomes so difficult to see the forest through the trees. I think I have asked Cameron every time, "What if I feel like this forever?" My poor family--for a great chunk of the first trimester I don't cook--either Cameron or Anna prepare something, my mom blesses us, or we do some type of convenience food. My kids love that part! Mom craving french fries? Great! They typically think of me as a health-nut, so it is with great amusement that they listen to me talking about the enjoyment of burgers and ice cream.

One of the most difficult things for me in having morning sickness is the isolation I feel. We often have people over for dinner, host playdates, and go to other's houses weekly. However, during morning sickness, I feel like a hibernating bear. I have no appetite and no energy. We often stay at home, resting, counting the weeks until I feel better.

Don't get me wrong--I know morning sickness IS for my good. First, it means that everything is going well with the pregnancy. Also, it is part of God's plan for my sanctification and teaches me to depend on Him, to cry out to Him when I feel like I just can't make it through another day. It reminds me that these little ones are worth it. As I sat feeding Truman some applesauce today, feeling yucky, I looked into his gorgeous eyes, remembering that I had just gone through his pregnancy last year and I was overwhelmed at that moment of how worth this suffering truly is. It is worth it. All of it--morning sickness, weight gain, ligament pain, swollen ankles, labor, delivery, sleepless nights, etc., all worth it for these blessings, these eternal souls. I must not forget the privilege pregnancy is. It is not my "right", I didn't make myself become pregnant; I was just a willing vessel to be used. My prayer now is that I won't lose sight of this when I am in the midst of this "trial". I need an eternal perspective, I need to preach the gospel to myself everyday, in order to find joy in the midst of morning sickness.

In Christ, Laura