First Appointment

I had my first appointment with my midwife today and I got to see the baby via an ultrasound. I was blown away. I have never had an ultrasound at this stage; it was always very early on to confirm a pregnancy, before you can really see anything, or at 20 weeks when you can see the head, a leg, an arm, etc., but not the entire baby in the screen. Because that is what I saw: An entire, tiny, fully-formed human! It literally took my breath away and I knew at that moment why we chose to follow this path and despite my morning sickness, holding back tears, I knew I would do this again and again and again, because I knew in that instant what it was to witness the hand of God, a miracle.

The baby had arms and legs and was flipping all over the place. Its tiny heart was already beating. Most amazing of all was when the midwife pointed out that my baby was hiccuping! I was shocked, but I saw it. A tiny little life hiccuping and my heart was full of joy but also full of sorrow as I thought of countless women who chose to abort at this stage of their pregnancy.

I called Cameron as soon as I left the office--I had taken Anna with me and he was home with the rest of our poor, sick kids--and I asked him, "How? How can anyone do that? How can anyone abort a baby? The baby is alive! Its heart is beating! It is hiccuping! Hiccuping!" I knew then that if everyone could see their baby at 10 weeks they might choose differently. They might fall in love with this tiny, fragile, FULLY-FORMED human who was planned before the foundation of the world! And I know that I cannot ever say no to this. This life is so short and I want to live and be used by God and bring forth miracles that will praise Him. And I will praise Him and thank Him, just as I did today when I saw my baby.

In Christ, Laura