Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Family-Integrated Church

Awhile ago, I wrote a post about our membership in a "family-integrated" church. I received this email article today, written by R.C. Sproul Jr. and thought it would shed more light on the topic:



What is a “Family-integrated church?” (By R.C. Sproul Jr.)

Though it sounds rather complicated and perhaps a smidge experimental, the concept is both simple and ancient. A family integrated church is one that encourages keeping families together by keeping them together. It is a church where families together study the Bible, where families together worship the living God, where families together serve both the church and the world in the name of Jesus Christ.

We fight against a Devil that desperately fights against the family. While we are on guard, as we ought to be, against assaults on the family in the political sphere, we often miss the serpent’s subtleties. The broader culture attacks our families by dividing them. It constructs demographic groups to replace family identity. Each group has its own language, its own clothing, its own music, its own events, its own identity. Our homes, once symbols of togetherness, have now become little more than apartment complexes, designed to keep us apart. Each family member not only has his own room, but in many homes his own phone, television, music system, gaming system. We don’t even share dinner together as Mom rushes off to her book club, Dad heads back to the office, Junior catches a ride to little league practice, and Princess heads off to the youth group meeting. Messages taped to the refrigerator are the apex of our togetherness.

It’s bad enough that such happens six days a week, but we have, in the last fifty or so years, added a new tradition to the church, and imported this same mindset there. Sunday morning we might all share a ride to the church but when we get there Dad goes to his Wild at Heart meeting, Mom to her Women In the Church gathering, Junior is shuttled off to his Little Crusaders class and Princess is hanging out with her friends in the youth building. The result- we end up identifying with our peers rather than our families, just like in the world.

The Bible does actually talk about demographic groups. It addresses the issue. It, however, commands not that we separate from each other based on our stage in life, but that we come together (see Titus 2). The Bible’s pattern, and that which the church followed for over 1900 years, is that the family together is taught and encouraged by the church, and that parents raise their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Divided Sunday Schools and youth groups were designed with the best of intentions, to reach out to the lost. What they have become, however, is a new tradition, and worse still, a ready excuse for parents to fail in their calling. God calls me, not the Sunday school teachers, not the youth leaders, to speak to my children of the things of God when they lie down, when they walk by the way, and when they rise up (Deuteronomy 6).

My friends, the LeClerc brothers, in association with my friends at the National Center for Family Integrated Churches, have created a brief but insightful documentary, Divided, that deals with this very issue. They have made it possible to watch this video, free of charge, for the next month and a half. I’d encourage you to take a look at www.dividedthemovie.com. It might make you mad. But it will surely make you think.


(I haven't watched the video yet)

In Christ, Laura

5 comments:

Stacy said...

Laura, The video was powerful and thought provoking. Our family will be searching the scriptures more and praying about family integrated Worship for our family!

Stacy said...

Laura, I was wondering how much the Family Integrated Worship applies to adults as well? My husband and I love going to a Sunday School class with other people our age but that means the kids would go to Sunday School, too. (we had our oldest 2 children stay with us during Worship this morning. Ages 10 and 7. ) After singing, i had them follow along in their bibles and my oldest took notes for awhile...when i saw their Hang Man game starting i told them that their words had to be something that the pastor talked about or from the scripture being read. How involved are your older children with the service? I know it takes time and intentional training. Do your children take church bags in with them? What are your age appropriate expectations for them?
What about Ladies' Bible Study nights/Men's bible studies,
etc...it all segregates and technically takes away time that could be spent as a family bible study. What are your
thoughts? I know that your family dynamics are so different
bc of your husband's work schedule, larger family and also
homeschooling. Have you always gone to a Fam. Int. Church or did you attend a church before you moved that had Sunday School and Children's Worship? Would love to hear your family's experience, challenges, successes,etc.
So sorry for the long comment:)

laura mouro said...

Stacy--great questions. It was a process for us, and we are still learning. When we went to a church with Sunday School classes, we brought our children to our adult class. We did not feel it was right to go to church and then separate as a family. We had already started keeping our children with us during service starting when our kids were 3. Once we felt convicted about keeping our kids with us, we began bringing all of them with us--even the wiggly toddler and the nursing infant. Our older children take notes and our younger ones sit quietly--no picture drawing or any activities, no snacks, etc. We just teach them to sit quietly and encourage them to listen. You will be surprised how they can rise to your expectations. We talk about the sermon afterward at home during lunch--we praise our children for what they learned or heard, but never punish if they didn't pay attention--esp. the littler ones. We just encourage them to listen next time. Anna and Jonas have great attention spans and often hear more than me because I am distracted with a baby or toddler. In the past, we gave out a small treat if our children could tell us one thing they heard in the sermon, no matter how small. You would be surprised by how much they are listening even when they appear to be distracted. They will turn and look at us in surprise when they hear a word the pastor says that we have been discussing at home. It is cute.

I stopped going to a woman's Bible study years ago. This was for a number of reasons--first, I found it too difficult with so many little ones in this stage of life to keep up with the reading. Second, I knew my husband was tired, had work often of his own at night, and it was asking a lot of him once a week to take on all the responsibility for the kids' bedtime. I know this is a personal conviction, but I just didn't feel it was right. Third, I wanted to remain under the headship & authority of my husband for teaching and instruction. This is just another personal conviction. I didn't feel right about going out and learning on my own because I think in some ways it promotes an individualistic mentality instead of a "we", united, mentality that a marriage should have. All of those ministries--men's, women's, teen's, children's do promote family fragmentation in worship. Now I am not saying that I wouldn't go to a women's breakfast or fellowship, or even a women's retreat--but for worship we should be together as a family, we believe. These other events are usually an exception, not a weekly norm. Now, Cameron will go to a men's prayer meeting or a heads-of-household meeting but this is for the purpose of equipping him to wash us with the Word, to be a godly leader of our family and in our church--not for the purpose of just filling his own spiritual goals or whatever. Cameron and I did participate in a couple's Bible study this past year--but it is not on-going and had a specific goal to learn about a specific topic that was especially relevant at that time in our lives.

We just began going to a family-integrated church last summer. Before that, we belonged to a church that was very friendly toward families staying together. If they had not been, we would have had to find a church that was accepting of this. They were great though--allowing us to bring our children to our adult Sunday School class and to service. Many families there were doing the same thing.

All this said, it has been a journey, a process, for us and we are learning all the time and seeking the Lord on these matters.

Stacy said...

Laura, thank you for your heartfelt response. So many things to pray about as God leads our family. I love your heart for the Lord and for your husband and remaining under his headship! Blessings!

Mendi... said...

Laura~I love your response to all the questions that were asked! I praise God for your heart, your example and your testimony! The Lord has been convicting us in the EXACT same way and we have taken the EXACT same approach on all the things you mentioned! I love when our Savior connects kindred spirits...even if it is across the miles...

Blessings to your precious family~
Mendi