Still Here . . .

I am still pregnant, still hanging in there. I actually still feel pretty good despite feeling huge. I think this is the first baby that I was not anxious to get it all over with and have the baby. There is just so much to do!

Things with Abbie are improving. It is always just staying a few steps ahead of her and not giving her a reaction. Earlier this week, I had her practice writing her name. Just so you know, she can do this, no problem. Well, she wrote it with totally wrong letters, then she wrote it backwards (that takes skill, huh?), then when I showed her where I wanted her to write it she chose the opposite side of the page, all while I sat watching her. Later on, I asked why she would want to do this. I didn't ask in a confrontational way or in the heat of the moment, but later as she was giggling and obedient. She said (flat out), "I wanted to make you mad". Yep. Right there . . . a confession of what is really going on. I am learning that taking control away isn't so much in the method (did I do IT right?) but in the staying calm and appearing to be happy. You may be seething on the inside, but on the outside, you have to use a calm, gentle voice, smiling eyes and a genuine smile. It has become easier and easier for me to actually MEAN this response. At first, I was so angry inside. Now I know that this is NOT my problem to fix, but God's. I just need to be obedient to do what I know I am supposed to do and I will reap an eternal reward. He has to change her heart. My response needs to reflect God's heart toward her. I can either draw close to God during this trial or pull away as my heart becomes more bitter and angry. It is my choice. Not letting Abbie have control isn't just externally, with her behavior, but it is also not letting her control my emotions, my responses and my fellowship with God. He REALLY can be my peace during the toughest moments and my joy does not need to be dependent on whether or not Abbie has a good day (even when she unplugs the deep freezer, peels paint off the walls, and pees on the floor! This was the worst of it, not everyday occurrences ;) ).

I also learned that sometimes when Cameron and I were taking control away, we unwittingly gave Abbie MORE control. I don't really have a good example, but we saw an escalation in Abbie's behaviors when she kind of figured out our game with her. She played it back. We panicked, but now things are more peaceful and we have control back. She knows it and she has calmed down. Knowing that there are firm boundaries has given her peace.

We have also been SO busy lately. Jonas has had several baseball games, Anna had a piano recital and we also hosted a nanny from Abbie's orphanage for a night and a day. Melodie grew up in Liberia, the daughter of American missionaries. She is back on a brief visit to the States and just "happened" to be in town. It was such a blessing to meet her in person, talk about Liberia, learn more about the culture and for Abbie to see her. At first, we were worried that Abbie would think Melodie was here to take her, but Abbie was so calm leading up to and during the visit. I will post some pictures that Melodie took as soon as I get them. She is quite the photographer!

I am still in "nesting" mode and the girls and I made over 10 batches of oatmeal balls to freeze yesterday. We have also had to be creative because both our dishwasher and oven have been broken. The children have been so excited that commercial cereal has been on the menu for breakfast for a week. Thankfully, the oven was fixed yesterday (it was leaking gas!) and the new dishwasher comes tomorrow!

So . . . that's it in a nutshell. I will keep y'all posted as the time for the baby to be born quickly approaches. I also have to post a belly shot before I have no belly anymore! Thankfully, Melodie took a picture of me AND we just got a new camera (FINALLY!).

In Christ, Laura