I Should Have Known Better

On Tuesday this week, Abbie had a rotten day. Testing, testing, all day long. At 7 pm, I left to go to a Tea for a homeschooling group. I returned home after the children had long been in bed. The very next morning, Abbie began by testing again. She was laying in my bed and told me she was not going to do school or her chore. The only reason she was dressed was because I handed her her clothes and took off her PJ's. She could either sit in her underwear or get dressed. Thankfully, she chose the latter.

I told her that she did not HAVE to have a bad day, that she could choose to obey and to be happy. She told me no.

As I was walking away from her with a heavy heart, I prayed and asked God for insight and it hit me--or rather God made things clear to me . . . and I should have known better.

I went back into the room and sat next to Abbie. I asked her, "Abbie, how did it make you feel yesterday when mommy left for her tea?" She said, "I so mad! I want to be bad ALL day!" Yes, that was it. The other children had brought it up at breakfast that day, that I would be leaving that evening. Abbie had asked if she could come. I told her no, children were not invited, but that daddy would be with her. She seemed to accept this, but went on to test all day. After she told me she was mad at me, I reassured her for a few minutes that I would always come back, that she was safe, that I loved her, etc. etc. I even pointed out that she was fine when I left, but that I thought that maybe she was scared all day when she THOUGHT of me leaving. Maybe that anticipation created too much anxiety. I also told her next time she could talk to me about being scared about me leaving instead of disobeying all day. After I was done talking, Abbie immediately sat up and said, "I'm ready to do my chore!", in a cheerful voice. Complete turn-around.

Within a few minutes, she was back and seemed upset again. I asked her what was wrong and she said, "You comin' to leave me when the baby is born." Her fear and anxiety was clearly visible on her features. I reassured her that daddy would be with her while I was in the hospital. She was not calmed. She said, "Daddy comin' to be with you to take the baby out." Yes, this is true, I told her, but then he would come right home to get her, to take care of her. This still did nothing to allay her fears. I told her I would never leave her with anyone she did not know and that it would not be that long and she would be fine. I also tried to get her excited about coming to the hospital to see me. I think that as my due date approaches, her anxiety about me leaving may get worse and we may see some more acting-out. However, now I know what to expect and how to address it.

I really should have known better. Even though Abbie is totally fine when I am gone, I think that there is anxiety about the anticipation of me leaving. For sure it is related to abandonment issues. I can tell her and tell her I am coming back, but only time and my character can convince her.

Abbie has continued to test me this entire week, but it is getting much better. I guess it really amazes me that she will try and try and try the same things over and over and over . . .

On a different subject, I am totally "nesting" here. I do this every time I am near the end of my pregnancy. I go on a cleaning rampage and organize every nook and cranny of my house (as if the baby really cares! LOL). I am an organizational neat-freak. I don't even want money for the stuff I get rid of--I just want it gone! I guess you could call it my "hobby" to organize things. I am sure all of my children are going to have some "packrat" tendencies when they grow up as a result of their crazy mom who gets rid of everything.

In Christ, Laura