I have to be totally honest and say that we are completely struggling right now with Ruthie. We are in the midst of all this "battle for control" with her and it is SO difficult. I said before that I call a friend weekly, sometimes daily, and even email her hourly for advice. She has been through this with her 2 oldest adopted children and she knows that these parenting ideas work. Her children have been home for 4 years and are attached, happy and healed. Honestly, MOST of my ideas come from her--such as doing your children's school work, their chores, etc. (Just wanted to give credit where credit is due! I can't take any of the credit!). I have hesitated in the past to post her name for fear that she would be overwhelmed with an influx of emails asking for help. However, recently, she compiled a list of people who have been through RAD and are on the other side and are willing to help those of us who are struggling. The list is ready and she is ready to receive emails for those of you who are in need of help, like me. Courtney can be found at http://storinguptreasuresinheaven.blogspot.com (for some reason the link wouldn't work).
I know that many of you are encouraged reading these posts just knowing that we are going through the struggle with RAD and have emailed me to tell me that just knowing you are not alone is encouragement. However, many of you have emailed me to ask for help and I just am so new at this, trying to figure out what works, in the midst of the "battle", totally despairing some days that I can't help anyone . . . yet. One day, when we come out on the other side of this, when Ruthie is attached, healed, whole, I will have some knowledge of my own, experience under my belt, and a success story to share. Until then, as I continue to blog about our struggle, just be encouraged that you are not alone and please get yourself a "Courtney" to help you through it. She has made all the difference to me and we would still be beating our heads against the wall if it weren't for her. Thank you, Courtney, not only for being willing to help us, but being willing to help all hurting families by compiling the resource list. May our names be added to the list one day of "seasoned" adoptive parents.
In Christ, Laura
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
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3 comments:
That is so great! It is so wonderful to have those like-minded people who have "been there" to give advice and encourage us! Praying for you often!
Hi Laura,
I really think your struggles are associated to Jerome's disruption. I hear this from disrupting families all the time. If you want to email me or call I might be able to give you some suggestions. Hang in there.
I thought so, too, but honestly she was doing all the same stuff before he left. She started to feel safe ONCE he left and free to not only act out more, but she actually started talking once he left. The negative changes we have seen in her we see as positive because we are finally getting to the core of the "real" Ruthie who was hidden before. I don't know if that would have come out if he had stayed. I can't say much more, but I do know that she is starting to heal now that he is gone.
I still would love to talk and get your insight, though! I know you have so much wisdom and experience.
In Christ, Laura
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